Have you been bullied by blackbirds, ripped-off by robins or mugged by magpies? It happens to me every day.
I know we are lucky in the UK: we can sunbathe in the garden without being eyed-up by vultures or without having our eyes poked out by predatory parrots or crows. Mums can leave their infants in the pram and know that a monkey-eating eagle won't steal them, but it's still a jungle out there.
|Black-mail. Look into his eye!|
We moved to a big Hampshire estate where I played alone for hours in acres of gardens and woods that adjoined farmland. I had a hiding place under a beech hedge where I would lie in springtime and watch the weather and the hares boxing My first sighting of sparring cock-pheasants scared the life out of me and I ran into the house to tell my mum that two eagles were after me.
Now its your common-or-garden birds that harass me.
Last year I didn't mind so much, but this spring the goldfinches went off eating niger seed so I tried them on sunflower hearts. This was my big mistake as everything loves sunflower hearts and they cost a mint.
So now, I have a huge bill for bird food while a big bag of seed mix is ignored. They haven't touched the fat-balls since February. If I try cheating on them and sneaking out some cheap substitute food they complain by sitting on my fence close to my face while they give me the evil eye. I'm not imagining this.